On Money

The day after our engagement, J and I went to Barnes and Noble to buy a cute little notebook to jot notes in. That's become a project all its own, but what happened at Barnes and Noble almost sent me into a complete meltdown.

I've hinted that I am not the Wedding Bride. My biggest mistake, I think, was grabbing a bunch of wedding magazines and looking at wedding planners/books in the self-help section. I'm pretty sure I broke out into hives, and J had to quiet me down, purchase our items and then drive me home while I started sobbing and hyperventilating.

My biggest issue is this: weddings are expensive. My parents have told me they will be paying for my wedding, and this is incredibly generous. It also makes me feel guilty beyond belief. They have been so helpful in my life, financially as well as emotionally, and I know I will never be able to repay them for all the good they have done in my life. And though they reassured me they would love nothing more than to spoil me rotten for my wedding day, I started to get heart palpitations for the costs of our impending wedding.

The magazines blew everything I was thinking majorly out of proportion. Articles on how to plan a "budget" wedding for $100,000? How a DIY wedding was "such a bargain!" at $15,000?? The dresses, the bridesmaid gifts, everything had huge dollar signs and it honestly made me cry. All I knew was this: I loved J, I wanted nothing more than to marry him and begin our life as husband and wife. And yes, I wanted to celebrate it in a special, and meaningful (and once-in-a-lifetime) sort of way.

So to calm me down, J did what a logical, rational man did: he turned on How I Met Your Mother and a glass of wine, and reminded me that everything will be okay. And guess what? It is. Have I had breakdowns about money since? Absolutely. But once budgets were set, and everything was discussed, it was all transparent and I could breathe a sigh of relief.

My point is this: don't buy into all the hype. Don't get swept away with all the gorgeous pictures, details, and dollar signs. Remember the point of the event, what it means to you, and what it represents. This has ended up being my wedding mantra: remember what is the most important to you, be honest, and do what feels right.