Guilt

I wonder sometimes how other people deal with wedding related guilt, specifically financial guilt.  I struggle, almost daily, with the extreme generosity my parents have been giving me. There are many times I think to myself we should have done this smaller, simpler, less expensive. I find myself falling in love with pretty details, and promptly talking myself out of them, because I don't want to add to the financial burden.

I know this will be my only wedding day, my only one in my whole life, and my parents are thrilled to help us celebrate the beginning of our marriage. But their kind words, encouragement and support don't completely wipe away the guilt of spending a small fortune on me and J.

I'm constantly thinking of ways we can thank them, but our ideas always come up short. I don't think I will ever adequately thank my parents not only for my wedding and their financial support, but for the support they have given me throughout my life. The countless times I've borrowed my mom's car for interviews or for work, the endless supply of lasagna, meatballs, stuffed cabbage that my mom has neatly packed every weekend for me to take home and eat during the week, the kindness and generosity they have not only shown me, but have shown to J. How they have accepted him into our family as one of their own. How can I thank them for all that, and more? How can a picture frame, or a necklace and cuff links, thank them for their help and support for the past 25 years?

So, I will continue to struggle in coming up with some type of thank you for my parents for this wedding. The day will mark the end of one part of my life, and start the beginning of the next. And as much as J and I are front and center, this is such a big moment for us as a family as well. I love them, and only wish I could find a way to show them how grateful I am.