Don't be so serious!

As much as I am so excited we are having a destination wedding and I know it will work out perfectly for us in the end, during the first few months I struggled a lot with disappointment. I'll be honest: there were a lot of tears. I was expecting some family and friends to take the news badly, for some guests not be able to come, and to have some disappointments once in awhile. However, what I wasn't prepared for is people to tell me their (very strong!) opinions without me even really asking for it. I wasn't prepared for a lot of negativity, and sadly, a lot of judgment.

When I announced my engagement to my school friends, everyone was surprised but very happy for me and J. But once we began discussing our potential destinations, there was a lot of judgment. "You mean you're not going to invite everyone from school?" got brought up a lot. At first my response was easy: politely state we're having an intimate wedding with immediate family and close friends. When we started getting involved in our actual wedding planning, I was surprised at how "honest" (aka mean) some of my classmates came off. People let me know that I was crazy, that I was sacrificing my real wants, that I was rushing into planning and that I was making bad decisions. To put it nicely, I was shocked.

I don't have the thickest skin, and these comments stung me deeply. Its not that I expected everyone to understand our decision, but I was not expecting so much negativity. And this broke my heart! My wedding (and its planning) is meant to be a happy time, for excitement and happy thoughts. Instead, I found myself consistently surrounded by negative nellies.

So J and I made some decisions: smile politely at people who were expressing their opinions to us, and do the best to not let it get to us. Essentially: don't take everything so seriously! We did a lot of hand squeezing and eye contact trying to get through awkward moments, and at the end of the day we got through it. There will be more comments and more disappointment, but the key is to remember at the end of the day, we're getting married and it will be beautiful. And it will start the rest of our life just as we want to. What disappointment have you struggled with during your wedding process?