Laundry Essentials

After J moved in, I became in charge of the laundry. My mother raised me with a very specific love for laundry, and laundry done right. This is why J is in charge of dishes - we're trying to split housework as evenly as possible in this house! My mom got us two items that made my laundry nights 100x easier. I recommend these items (both bought at the Container Store) as they are lifesavers.

number one: the three section hamper

As much as I love a pretty fancy wicker hamper, this simple cloth/metal hamper has made sorting laundry so easy. We leave the left section for whites, the middle section for cold wash, and the right for everything else. This way I see which section is filling up, and I can throw a load of laundry in the second I see the bin getting full. It also cuts down on my sorting-through-dirty-laundry time, which no one likes to do anyway. The bin is also removable and washable, so if it starts taking on a stink its easy to care for too! It's also on wheels, so it can easily travel from our bathroom to the laundry with minimal complaining on my part.

number two: expandable garment rack

This guy comes in handy during laundry, and also while packing for trips. The clothes dry quicker on the rack rather than shoved hanging in a closet, so it helps my laundry turnover time. When packing for trips, I hang up clothes to be packed on the rack, and it makes it easier to visualize gaps in my vacation wardrobe. Its expandable and can be easily shoved into my walk-in closet when we have guests or want to keep things tidy.

What simple items make your life easier?

New Years Do-solution

I've never really been one to write New Years Resolutions down, or even really plan any out ahead of time. Getting married this month has made me want to think more forward into the coming year, and along with that I've started a rough list of resolutions.

The list is made out of verbs, because I think I'll do better with having to add to my life rather than take away. Do-solutions. More specifically, J and I are building a life together now, with new traditions, goals, dreams, both together and separately. It will be a year of trying new things, testing the waters and a list of verbs to guide me seems to fit just fine.

1. Do. Over the next 12 months, I want to make a solid effort to try to do more. See more, taste more, try more. We're homebodies by nature, and quite comfortable in our routines, and it wouldn't hurt to make more of an effort to get outside the house. This is really a carryover from this past summer, where we went to free concerts, had picnics and started geocaching regularly. I just want us to try things, both separately and as a couple, in an effort learn some more about ourselves and what we like. And to spend more time together doing new, fun things. Nothing fancy, no grand must haves, just do.

2. Use. Ever since J moved in, the sheer amount of products we have accumulated scares me. That, and the fact that we have a Costco membership and I work at a large retail chain. Sales and coupons haunt us, and then all of a sudden we have 13 (what?!! sick, I know) bottles of body wash. Three toilet bowl cleaners. I have countless half used bottles of lotion, face cream, tons of samples...its never ending. So until these things are all used, J and I are on use-up-or-get-rid-of-our-crap duty. Yet again, this is another carryover from the past few months. I've found if I only leave one of each item within hands reach, I can't use a different lotion every day. I have to use the one that is out, and the more I use that one bottle, the sooner it will declutter our tiny space. I'll probably set another paper bag out in the bathroom to collect our empty bottles, just to see how long it takes us so I can more properly plan on how much to buy in bulk. And for some reason, it feels really good to finish something!

3. Appreciate. Its been a very good year for J and myself. We had three very exciting vacations, we got married, we got jobs. Some around us have had really horrible, life-changing years and the majority of people fall in between. I don't want to get stuck in the rut of complaining about the little things, when big picture things really are going so well for us. I want to be thankful for the little things, the small moments, the good we have in our lives. Its an effort to stop wasting my time worrying or stressing or complaining and just breathe and appreciate my life.

So, there are my resolutions. Nothing crazy, no promise to be at the gym 3 days a week, no set up for failure. Just a list of three verbs that will hopefully keep us running through what is sure to be another busy, amazing year. Now lets see where the next 12 months take us!

Guilt

I wonder sometimes how other people deal with wedding related guilt, specifically financial guilt.  I struggle, almost daily, with the extreme generosity my parents have been giving me. There are many times I think to myself we should have done this smaller, simpler, less expensive. I find myself falling in love with pretty details, and promptly talking myself out of them, because I don't want to add to the financial burden.

I know this will be my only wedding day, my only one in my whole life, and my parents are thrilled to help us celebrate the beginning of our marriage. But their kind words, encouragement and support don't completely wipe away the guilt of spending a small fortune on me and J.

I'm constantly thinking of ways we can thank them, but our ideas always come up short. I don't think I will ever adequately thank my parents not only for my wedding and their financial support, but for the support they have given me throughout my life. The countless times I've borrowed my mom's car for interviews or for work, the endless supply of lasagna, meatballs, stuffed cabbage that my mom has neatly packed every weekend for me to take home and eat during the week, the kindness and generosity they have not only shown me, but have shown to J. How they have accepted him into our family as one of their own. How can I thank them for all that, and more? How can a picture frame, or a necklace and cuff links, thank them for their help and support for the past 25 years?

So, I will continue to struggle in coming up with some type of thank you for my parents for this wedding. The day will mark the end of one part of my life, and start the beginning of the next. And as much as J and I are front and center, this is such a big moment for us as a family as well. I love them, and only wish I could find a way to show them how grateful I am.

Homemade Italian Seasoning Mix

I’ve recently started making my own herb mixes, as the premade items are expensive at the store, and often include salt. I would rather add my own salt to taste, and I find making my own mix is fun and it gives me more freedom with flavors. Its easy, too! I recommend making the seasoning mix in a small bowl the first time before putting into an empty leftover spice container so you can create your seasoning to taste. Keep a piece of paper handy – simply write down the ingredients you added, and keep it somewhere on hand. The next time you make the seasoning mix, add the ingredients to the empty spice container and shake to combine. It couldn’t be any easier!

This week I decided to make a basic Italian Seasoning mix, leaving out what some would consider integral ingredients (sage, thyme).  I wanted to be able to use it for different uses, so I kept it simple and I’ll add other herbs as I see fit depending on the recipe.

Homemade Italian Seasoning

1 tablespoon dried basil (from my mom’s garden)

1 tablespoon marjoram

1 tablespoon garlic powder (trying to get use out of a grungy old container)

1 tablespoon oregano

1 tablespoon parsley

1. Add each ingredient, stir to combine.

2. Transfer to an empty spice container. And you're done!

Missing Vacation

J and I were on a month long trip to Poland and the Czech Republic, and then we promptly started the most "real life" activity I've ever had...full time rotation positions to finish off our last year of schooling.  The 50 hour/week position at the hospital has been a wonderful learning experience so far, but it leaves little time for indulging in fun activities, like blogging!  Eventually, J and I will figure out what we want to do here, on our little corner of the internet. But today, I have a moment to reminisce about what I'm missing most right now.

Big, open town squares, people watching, bottles of wine and sunsets. Hopefully another night like this one is just around the corner...

Flowers and studying

All we've been doing this week is studying, and taking finals. Seeing all the beautiful flowers blooming in my parents yard and on our walks to school have been our saving grace. Soon this will be over and we'll be able to enjoy much more!

Greeting Card Books

When J and I started dating, we were living a few hours apart. We would leave each other notes in our travel bags, or on the kitchen counter when someone was staying home. Instead of shoving the notes into a shoebox, I decided to DIY another Pinterest item I had seen: hole-punched bound books of greeting cards! I had started with our notes, and now have another bound book of our greeting cards, and then a newly started wedding-related book. I think its the easiest way to keep them all in the same place, and its easy to thumb through and remember all the memories. I highly recommend it for those of us that can't help but want to keep every little lovenote!

Don't be so serious!

As much as I am so excited we are having a destination wedding and I know it will work out perfectly for us in the end, during the first few months I struggled a lot with disappointment. I'll be honest: there were a lot of tears. I was expecting some family and friends to take the news badly, for some guests not be able to come, and to have some disappointments once in awhile. However, what I wasn't prepared for is people to tell me their (very strong!) opinions without me even really asking for it. I wasn't prepared for a lot of negativity, and sadly, a lot of judgment.

When I announced my engagement to my school friends, everyone was surprised but very happy for me and J. But once we began discussing our potential destinations, there was a lot of judgment. "You mean you're not going to invite everyone from school?" got brought up a lot. At first my response was easy: politely state we're having an intimate wedding with immediate family and close friends. When we started getting involved in our actual wedding planning, I was surprised at how "honest" (aka mean) some of my classmates came off. People let me know that I was crazy, that I was sacrificing my real wants, that I was rushing into planning and that I was making bad decisions. To put it nicely, I was shocked.

I don't have the thickest skin, and these comments stung me deeply. Its not that I expected everyone to understand our decision, but I was not expecting so much negativity. And this broke my heart! My wedding (and its planning) is meant to be a happy time, for excitement and happy thoughts. Instead, I found myself consistently surrounded by negative nellies.

So J and I made some decisions: smile politely at people who were expressing their opinions to us, and do the best to not let it get to us. Essentially: don't take everything so seriously! We did a lot of hand squeezing and eye contact trying to get through awkward moments, and at the end of the day we got through it. There will be more comments and more disappointment, but the key is to remember at the end of the day, we're getting married and it will be beautiful. And it will start the rest of our life just as we want to. What disappointment have you struggled with during your wedding process?

We Are Nerds

Its true. J and I are both incredibly nerdy. We both wear glasses, play video games, read comics and love science. So its no surprise that we've recently fallen in love with a very nerdy hobby: geocaching.

From the Geocaching website: GEOCACHING is a real-world outdoor treasure hunting game. Players try to locate hidden containers, called geocaches, using GPS-enabled devices and then share their experiences online."

Essentially, you can look up these geocaches on the website (or on an app on your phone: more on that later) and they give you the exact coordinates of the location of the cache. You can then enter them into a handheld GPS and it'll take you to the spot of the cache. You steathly grab it, sign your name, and put it back where you found it! There are some extras, like little treasures left behind, or trackable devices you can take to move from cache to cache. And I realize as I am writing this, it sounds silly.

But so far, for us it has been nothing but a ridiculously fun hobby. We've found some new spots that we love in Chicago (like the Cancer Survivors Garden near Millennium Park) and we've had some fun swearing over trying to find what we're looking for. We've introduced J's brother to the game, and now him and his friends are hooked, too!

Overseas geocaching is much more popular, so we want wait to grab some while in Poland and Prague. And we can't wait to make a 30 day streak happen sometime soon!

What's a random nerdy hobby that you love?

Teal, greens, blue and gold

We are not having traditional wedding "colors," and we are certainly not trying to make anything match according to color. This was an attempt to make my life easier, especially because I'm drawn to colors that are hard to replicate - like teal, or turquoise. Since I'm planning my wedding from afar, I knew some details would get lost in translation so from the start I wanted to keep things simple, but doing a more "color range" rather than two or three distinct colors. This way I'll be asking the venue to keep things simple with white, and we'll be bringing in the colors in different ways.

These have been my color inspirations, which are palettes of blue and turquoise, with ivory, champagne and antique gold. I'm still unsure of what color the bridesmaid dresses will be, but I'm not obsessed with pinning down any of these colors exactly. I'm happy with the darkest teal, to the lightest seafoam and everything in between. Really I just want things to look beachy without being too cheesy, classic, a bit whimsical and elegant.

This is what started it all - Yuzen Pool by the Paper Source. We plan on incorporating this into our invitations and our save the dates by using the "pool" color on white invitations. The color looks a bit muddled here but it is much cleaner, softer and vibrant in person.

This popped up recently on Ruffled, and I love the colors here. These are a bit more matchy-matchy, and I certainly didn't chose an aqua wedding dress, but I love the color combinations.

I have been half-tempted to repaint the condo after seeing this print from Cocoa and Hearts - its actually an art piece and if it wasn't so expensive, I would have to purchase it for our future home. I love the antiqued finish to the gold and the different blue and green tones. (Psst: even if you hate these colors, check our her site because her art is amazing!)

This is the beachy color I always think of first - the sea glass you find down by the waterside. This was feature in Better Homes and Gardens as indoor house colors, and if we ever get a home by the beach this will be my palette.

So there is my inspiration so far. Do you think I'm being realistic by letting all the colors be included? Do you prefer to have a more specific color palette?

DIY Inspiration

Pinterest has been deadly, as I have come across so many things I want to DIY but I know it will not happen. Number one, I clearly do not have enough time. Number two, many of these items would not transport themselves well. Number three, a lot of them are overlaps. Like I've suggested before...I have to pare down my obsessions and really start deciding what I want to actually accomplish! This is round one of DIY inspiration: paper flowers and a my only "instead of rice"DIY that I've fallen for.

Paper Ranunculus from a DIY Kit / [source]

Paper Flowers (not DIY, but could be!) / [source]

Yay Banners! (From a Wedding Bee Blogger!)/ [source]

I don't know why, but I've fallen hard for the paper flowers. I've seen many random tutorials, and the first picture is a DIY "kit" you can purchase on Etsy, or you can purchase them individually online. However, they are crazytown expensive. So for now, I'll probably just keep staring...

The second paper flowers are amazing because they Etsy shop has a TON of colors to pick from for the flowers, and it would be something fairly easy to transport/ship to Mexico. I'm also convinced I could try my hand at it myself (a la this tutorial). But I'm still not sure where I could incorporate them into our wedding, so they stay on the "eh, probably not..." list!

The last is the one item in this post I will probably be attempting in June - the YAY banners. Although I'm a sucker for punctuation, so I'm pretty sure I'll be adding an exclamation point to the mix. I'm hoping this project won't be too time consuming, and with our small number of guests it should be okay!

What are some inspirations that you but you're probably not going to use?

Happy Yummy Friday

When your day starts out like this, all you gotta do is smile... Happy weekend, friends!

Lacking Motivation

Recently I've struggled to find the motivation to tackle my wedding to-do list. I'm still excited about the wedding and its still a regular topic between me, my friends and my family, but I'm unable to take care of some fairly simple items on my list. I think I am going through the "But the wedding is still so far away!" denial. Today I checked the count-down clock and there it is, staring at me: 229 days.

I'm still convinced this is plenty of time to take care of all the details large and small for the wedding, but getting under the 200 mark terrifies me. There are so many elements I have bookmarked or pinned on Pinterest, but I haven't planned at all which aspects I will actually use and which are simply illogical for our destination wedding. Therefore I am making it a point this week to focus my efforts on making decisions and cleaning up my inspirations!

This means I will be blogging about all my inspirations in these coming weeks! From ceremony arches to the dance floor, its time to make some of the fun (yet seemingly difficult!) decisions! Did you struggle with making decisions regarding decor, or all the "extras" you'll be including in your wedding? Did using Pinterest make your life easier, or harder? Are you lacking motivation or are you the energizer bunny?

Friday Snapshot

J and I went on our first day in months last night. It was so nice to get dressed up, hold hands and spend a fun, relaxing night out. We went to see the Hunger Games and we both really enjoyed it, even though I'm the only one that's read it! We need to make more of an effort to spend some evenings out together. How do you and your partners plan dates? How often do you go out?

Kate Spade Love!

I've always been obsessed with Kate Spade, but wedding planning has turned me into a complete Kate Spade monster. I love the classy sparkle, the over the top jewelry and her new watches! I also, like lots of brides who have come before me, love the "Mrs" items and all the extra bridal items that no one actually needs. Here are some items I've been lusting after!

{all photos from katespade.com}

Mrs Necklace

Mrs Key Fob

I Kissed A Frog Clutch

Gumdrop Earrings

Cooper Bracelet

And a ton ton more! I got an e-mail stating this weekend, until Saturday, April 14th at 11:59pm there is a 25% off sale for "Friends and Family" using the code FFSPR12MED.

And with that type of sale, I could MAYBE convince myself to purchase one of the above items...now, where's that endless source of cash I've been meaning to find...

Saving Money

Ever since J and I moved in together and started paying more attention to our pre-marriage finances, we started to cut corners everywhere we could. First up: cable TV. It was the first to go, considering mostly I was using it to watch Bulls games and reruns of my favorite old TV shows. We already had Netflix, so we tried a free-trial of Hulu+ for one month as well to try to get us used to no cable. Soon we noticed that we hadn't even turned on Hulu+ once, so we cancelled that membership quickly. We haven't had cable TV for over 5 months now, and we couldn't be happier with our current set up. I tell everyone I know to at least give it a try without cable. You'll be surprised to see you won't miss it that much!

Another place we started saving was our cell phone packages. As soon as my parents switched to Verizon in February, we dropped our Friends and Family plan and got the cheapest family plan with the least amount of minutes. We also took a look at our text messaging, and realized we had been spending for unlimited texts, when we weren't even reaching 500texts/month. We dropped down to a $10/month plan for a total savings of $30/month. Its nothing crazy, but in the big scheme of things it really helped. I highly recommend taking a fine-toothed comb to your cell phone plan! I think most people assume they need the unlimited texting, but really see if you're using enough to warrant it!

I also turned into a coupon printing machine. I pretty much don't go to the store or buy anything online without printing a coupon or using a coupon code. First stop for me is usually retailmenot.com. They do a good job of listing a lot of online coupon codes. For printing coupons, I usually stick to Googling the store I'm shopping at, or using my two favorite websites: Target.com and MyPoints. If I plan on going to Target, I always check to see if there are coupons for anything I'll be buying that day, and almost always there is. I also have a Target Redcard that is a debit card that links to my checking account, and I get 5% off all purchases. I realize I'm a Target employee and I sound like a corporate machine, but really its not a bad deal especially because its not a credit card.

MyPoints is a great place to go in general - if you're into accumulating points to get gift cards, you can fill out surveys, or link through the website when making online purchases to get points for your purchases. But for my online purchases, I always start with...

Ebates! I found this website through word of mouth and I love it. Essentially you go to Ebates first when making an online purchase, find the store you'll be purchasing from, and click there. It'll direct you to the storefront, and you'll get a percentage cash back for your purchases. For the first few weeks when I was using this I kept forgetting to go through Ebates. But now that I've gotten in the hang of always checking there first, I've made well over $10 that will be sent to me via check in the mail. Again, this isn't a life-changing amount, but for me, its free money!

These tiny tips again, aren't life-changing, but as two students, every penny counts! What do you do to cut corners and trim costs in your life? What are some tips you have to get the most bang for your buck when purchasing items online?

Hairy Typical

As much as I like to say I am the "non-traditional anti-bride" I am in the process of doing something very typical of brides everywhere: growing out my hair. I know, I know, what is it with the obsession to having long flowing locks for your wedding, especially when most women end up wearing their hair UP for their wedding look anyway?!

Granted, I had already been growing my hair for almost a year (yikes!) before J and I got engaged. I had done a chop of my hair November 2010: I took off a full 7 inches. For my hair journey, for the sake of consistency, I'm going to try to find pictures with my hair curly.

When J and I got engaged, this was the length of my hair, fall 2011:

I had had a few trims between this time to clean up my layers and my jagged ends. My bangs had mostly grown out at this point, and from this time period, I have not had any time of haircut whatsoever. I need to get a trim sometime soon, but this is the length of my hair as of this past weekend:

With Easter sweets, April 2011:

My hair is finally growing out after a year and a half, and I have another 7 months+ to go until the wedding. Right now I'm doing whatever I can to take care of my hair by washing it sparingly, applying coconut oil 1-2x per week, and trying not to use any heat to style it. The ends are getting pretty ratty, so a trim will have to happen in the next few weeks. I'll have to keep you all updated on how out of control the length gets...and when I finally snap and chop it all off again!

Did you grow out your hair for an event, or for your wedding? Did you do a post-wedding chop?

Why Costco (sort of) Saved the Day

As some of you may know, depending on your honeymoon searches or traveling on your own, flights to Mexico have recently increased dramatically, and will probably stay this way.

A flight from Chicago to Cabo San Lucas is currently $710. This hurts my soul, as we spent just over $800 to go to Poland. But we accepted our loss, realized its completely out of our control, and started searching for ways to get the best possible deal we could.

First, we contacted American Airlines (1 of 2 airlines that flies direct to Cabo from Chicago) and got a discount rate of 5%. Not huge, but not bad in the big scheme of things.

Next up, we scouted out our best credit card with the best rewards. Oddly enough, this happened to be tied between our Costco American Express and my personal American Express card. This is another post for another day, but I sort of kind of maybe totally love Costco. So one random Thursday we were walking through, buying too much of things we probably didn't need in the first place, and I came across AA gift cards. You purchase them for $270 and they are worth $300. This, my friends, was awesome. They also never expire, so it wasn't something that had to be purchased with worry I wouldn't travel soon enough.

We ended up purchasing 9 cards for our 4 tickets. Between our discount code and our gift cards, we saved $388. Sure, it seems tiny, but when all the expenses were adding up like crazy, and I was desperate for good news, this was a lifesaver and saved me another night of wine and HIMYM. I've passed on the details to my guests, and I hope they find SOME excitement in this little savings! We also ended up get 2% cash back on our giftcard purchase, which was $48.60. So all in all, $436.60 which we can now spend on something else...like avocados by the bushel at Costco!

I probably wouldn't advocate getting a Costco membership JUST to purchase these, but if you already have one I would check it out. Not all the stores carry these specific gift cards, so it warrants a phone call before you start trekking around the world looking for them. Check out their other gift cards when you're there - we're probably going to pick up some restaurant ones next time we stop by!

Little Red Book

As I hinted to in a previous entry, J and I purchased a mini Moleskine notebook the day after we got engaged. We had decided that we wanted to start a tradition, something small, something that would help us celebrate our first year as fiance's, and that we could continue on into our marriage if we wanted to. We decided on the hardcover red mini lined notebook, electing to split each sheet of paper into 2. We started with October 15th, 2011 as our first date (our engagement day!) and started writing.

Each day, one of us writes a one sentence "journal" of sorts; what has been going on, something fun we did, how we're feeling that day. There are no rules, just something that has to be written each day. The book rests on our bedside table, switching from side to side every few days. Whoever's side the book is on generally is in charge of writing in the book, but I will be honest: much more than half the book is in my handwriting. This is mostly due to the fact that when we travel, go home to my parents for the weekend, or we fall behind a few days, I generally fill in the gaps. So far the book is almost halfway fun, and while there were days I thought this project wasn't worth it, its now my favorite thing ever. I love being able to thumb through the pages, to have short, cute little memories of events. It also makes every day special, and thats how J and I want to live our lives: every day is a blessing, a gift, and there is something good in every day. I can't wait to continue on this tradition, and have a stockpile of little Moleskines! I highly recommend every newly engaged or married couple do this, or even a photo of the day!

Do you write in a journal, or do anything to remember your day by? Have you ever tried a Question of the Day book? Let me know! I'd love more inspiration!

Organizing: Finances

Once J and I moved in together and our purchases started to become more shared, I wanted to make it a point to make some type of budget and stick to it. I had purchased this financial organizer for my mom but she wasn't interested in using it, so I decided to use it for myself!




I was clearly swayed by the clever name (Organizher) the pretty flower design and my favorite gray and white palette. The plan was to spend one month collecting our receipts to monitor our spending, create a monthly budget, and to keep all our bills in one place. As you can see, the only success we had was collecting our receipts. For one month. And other than that, the book remains empty...






While our intentions were good, we didn't have the best follow through. The plan is to again start come June, and to have a budget in place before we start spending. Anyone really good with the family budget and have some good tips on how to stay organized?

Revealed: My Engagement Ring!

J and I had discussed wedding ring shopping, and we had browsed together online. I changed my mind about 100 times in the process, but just as in our relationship, when it was right, it was right!

My first obsession came from antique art-deco rings. Mostly I was drooling over rings like this:
{source}
My biggest concern with these was that I liked SOME of the antique rings, but not all. I had a hard time explaining what I liked and what I didn't like, and I was nervous to let J know this was what I was lusting after if I couldn't place what it was. I knew he wasn't comfortable buying online either, so I kept browsing.

Next on my I MUST HAVE IT list was found on Etsy. I fell in love with morganite halo rings, and showed J. He quickly vetoed this choice as he was set on me having a diamond and a ring that would stand the test of time. I still love rings like this though, but I'm glad he had me keep searching!

{source}

On a similar vein, I soon started swooning over bezels. I knew we had started narrowing down my search at this point, because I started to take on my more practical persona. I will have a job that I use my hands quite a bit, need to wear gloves at work, etc. I wanted something I could wear every day without being paranoid. I also wanted something comfortable, and with a substantial weight to it. With more research, I started falling for bezels. First, the more medieval-looking type...

{source}

But when J and I were browsing Tiffany's one day, we found a ring that I soon crossed off my list...only to have it haunt me. I was terrified of the price-tag that comes with a name brand, and I told J to forget about the ring and that I would keep looking. But after a few days (and possibly a meltdown, HIMYM and a glass of wine?) the ring was purchased, a few weeks passed, and I was engaged and wearing the ring of my dreams. (All photos below are my own)




The style is the Tiffany Bezel in a platinum setting. The band on the ring is round all around, and incredibly comfortable to wear. I've shown a side profile to show how low it sits: perfectly comfortable for my activity level! I love wearing it, and though I know its not everyones taste, it makes me so incredibly happy to glance down and it 1000x a day!

What about you, how do you feel about bezels? How much did practicality play a role in choosing your ring?

Wine, beach, or other beach?

As I've hinted before, J and I are traveling to our wedding destination. Before I reveal our final decision, I thought it might be fun to reminisce on the ideas we had while planning. We had decided on a destination wedding because J hasn't exactly had the opportunity to travel, and we were itching to get away somewhere exciting. And we also knew that by having a destination wedding it would make the small wedding concept more believable to our friends and family. And to be honest, it just sounded so incredibly romantic to have an amazing weekend trip with our close friends and family, and instead of spending only a few hours together, we could spend a few days celebrating our lives together.

Our criteria was simple (and probably should have included more parameters, but you live and you learn!):
1. Must be somewhere either one of us has been before OR
2. Must be somewhere we could easily travel to scout out locations.

This quickly narrowed down our list, as the only time J has traveled is for Army-related trips, and I haven't exactly jet-setted around the world myself. Our travel distance to scout out locations was also limited by a) budget and b) time. So we started at the top, and worked our way day.

Our first option was Napa; J and I both are huge winos, and we were obsessed with the beautiful landscapes and the promise of amazing food. These plans were quickly squashed once we started contacting vendors in the Napa/Sonoma area. I recall one conversation J had with a venue in Sonoma, asking "What is included in the $8500 venue fee?" to which the woman answered "Well...nothing." So after some tears, wine, and How I Met Your Mother (are you sensing a trend yet??) we brushed off the crankiness, and said goodbye to the idea of Napa.

Next on our list of potential locales was the Bahamas. My mom and I had been there earlier in the year, and I had fallen in love. I again contacted some vendors that were of interest to me (and I had firsthand experience with), and my champagne wishes quickly squashed those dreams. We crossed this off my list after I realized the wedding packages at the resorts I was looking at wouldn't include things on our must haves list (private plated seated dinner, for example) and the wedding coordinators attitude was curt to say the least. So the Bahamas were a no-go.

Our last option, and one I hadn't even been considering at this point, was Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. I had been there at Pueblo Bonito Pacifica once before with my parents, and they had gone again because we all had loved it so much. My parents were completely on board with this plan, as they love the resort, and knew it would be beautiful. Soon I got sold on all the amenities and found myself actually EXCITED looking through wedding packages. And as you can tell through all my tears so far, I hadn't exactly been dancing for joy yet! So once I realized the packages were reasonable and fairly customizable, that I was promised privacy and no public crawling by in my beach wedding pictures, I was sold. I'll do a whole 'nother post on the beauty that is our wedding venue, but that's another post for another day!

So there you have it, the bumpy road to the happy ending that is our wedding destination!!

On Money

The day after our engagement, J and I went to Barnes and Noble to buy a cute little notebook to jot notes in. That's become a project all its own, but what happened at Barnes and Noble almost sent me into a complete meltdown.

I've hinted that I am not the Wedding Bride. My biggest mistake, I think, was grabbing a bunch of wedding magazines and looking at wedding planners/books in the self-help section. I'm pretty sure I broke out into hives, and J had to quiet me down, purchase our items and then drive me home while I started sobbing and hyperventilating.

My biggest issue is this: weddings are expensive. My parents have told me they will be paying for my wedding, and this is incredibly generous. It also makes me feel guilty beyond belief. They have been so helpful in my life, financially as well as emotionally, and I know I will never be able to repay them for all the good they have done in my life. And though they reassured me they would love nothing more than to spoil me rotten for my wedding day, I started to get heart palpitations for the costs of our impending wedding.

The magazines blew everything I was thinking majorly out of proportion. Articles on how to plan a "budget" wedding for $100,000? How a DIY wedding was "such a bargain!" at $15,000?? The dresses, the bridesmaid gifts, everything had huge dollar signs and it honestly made me cry. All I knew was this: I loved J, I wanted nothing more than to marry him and begin our life as husband and wife. And yes, I wanted to celebrate it in a special, and meaningful (and once-in-a-lifetime) sort of way.

So to calm me down, J did what a logical, rational man did: he turned on How I Met Your Mother and a glass of wine, and reminded me that everything will be okay. And guess what? It is. Have I had breakdowns about money since? Absolutely. But once budgets were set, and everything was discussed, it was all transparent and I could breathe a sigh of relief.

My point is this: don't buy into all the hype. Don't get swept away with all the gorgeous pictures, details, and dollar signs. Remember the point of the event, what it means to you, and what it represents. This has ended up being my wedding mantra: remember what is the most important to you, be honest, and do what feels right.

Timing is Everything

While some couples find their perfect venue and then look for available dates, J and I were limited by our schedules. As third year doctor of pharmacy students, we knew our 4th (and last!) year of school would be busy and with minimal free time. We knew we had one free week in July, and six weeks off from mid-November until January. We didn't want to try to squeeze a wedding into a weekend with no available time off, so we pulled out a calendar and started brainstorming options.

Originally we were set on getting married in July - until we realized it would be a huge time crunch with either no time off before or after the wedding. We also knew we'd be traveling to our location (more on that later!) so soon our schedule had pushed us into the logical decision: a December wedding!

Ultimately we came to December 1st, 2012 as the sweet spot: after Thanksgiving, before Christmas, and it also coincided with our 18th month anniversary! It also gave us (and our guests) plenty of time to plan. We wanted to be mindful of timing for ourselves, and for our families and friends. The holidays can be stressful timing, but we hoped that with enough notice ahead of time, plans could be made for everyone who wanted to attend. And with two busy graduate students, timing is everything!

Guest Lists Start the Party

A lot of women (and men!) say they have dreamt about their wedding day for since they were little.  To be honest, I had never thought of what my wedding would look like, and I didn’t have a lot of needs. Although that’s sort of a lie too…mostly, I knew what I DIDN’T want.

The first problem I have with weddings is the expectations.  People expect weddings to have certain aspects, and most of these made me slightly nauseous.  Bridal parties, seating arrangements, familial expectations, the works.  Not to mention I hate 99% of bridal gowns I’ve ever seen online or in person.  I also knew that I have close to no family in the U.S., and my side of any type of wedding would be very small.  Especially when compared to my fiancé’s 100+ cousins. So our first decision: keep the size of the wedding manageable.

Again, this is what worked for us, and ultimately for our families. We decided that our guest list would dictate where and when we would have the wedding, so it was logical for us to start there.  So the day after we got engaged, we sat down together and made a list of our Must Haves: the people in our lives that we absolutely needed to have at our wedding, and we would make that happen regardless. We did a concentric circle method: us in the middle, and our VIP’s in the circles moving out.  Sort of like this awesome graphic:

 

Clearly this isn’t our actual guest list, but that’s how our thought process went. All of our guests are incredibly important to us, but we really wanted to focus on people we wanted to be surrounded with on our wedding, and not simply invite people out of obligation.

So there you have it, how we began our wedding planning!  Next up: Where in the world will we get married?!

New York, New York

J, my parents and I took a trip to NYC a few weeks ago, and it was an eventful trip. We spent about half our time walking, and half our time eating. Sprinkle in some spring weather, wedding dress shopping and people watching , and you get a nearly perfect vacation! Below are some phone pictures that give a glimpse of our busy trip.

Times Square!

Amazing blooming trees in Central Park

Flowers everywhere!

And always a requirement: street cart hot dog!